Monday, February 17, 2014

Raising Two

I'm not a gifted writer.  That's probably why my blog is neglected.  I have blog envy for those who can write daily, have great things to say, and amazing pictures.  I've decided not to apologize for my lack of blogging--it's not like I have that many readers!  I won't post the 100 selfies that Drew or Jac takes any more.  

When I was pregnant with Drew I was going here, there, and everywhere.  Think October wedding-April baby.   I was working in Columbia, selling my condo in Columbia, driving to and from Chesterfield.  I quickly packed on 15 pounds due to quitting exercising-hey, I didn't have time.  There were no maternity portraits.   That was definitely a big mistake but it was the beginning of putting everyone else first.  When I left my job on April 17, I went straight to the hospital to get started with this baby/mommy thing.  I didn't know 100% if I would or wouldn't return to my job.  I didn't have a job in Chesterfield.  

We had bought a house in Chesterfield in January that needed to be renovated before we could move in - looking back we should have bulldozed it and built from scratch or put a new roof on it to prevent further leaks and rented until we had time to worry about renovations.   I had a plan-new roof, renovate the kitchen, the two bathrooms, and have the floors refinished.  If they had started the renovations in January when we bought the house I probably would have been moved in before Drew arrived-but they didn't even start the process until the week he got here--should have been a sign.   We were living two doors down from our current house There was no nursery. I wasn't going to set one up and take it down.  He started out in a bassinet in our room then the pack and play in the spare room.

Driving to and from Columbia was not going to be an option.  When Drew was ten weeks old Trey and I decided I would go to work with Trey.  His prior choices in support staff are a whole different post-if not a whole different blog.  We found a lady in Cheraw who kept children in her house.  There were many nights, weekends, holidays where Drew was at the office with us, we were going to detention centers for Trey to meet with clients, going to the office supply store.  My brother got married in July-we had to travel to Beaufort for a party, travel to Florida for the wedding.  We went to Texas to see Trey’s family.  We'd leave work and go to Lowe's for paint, light fixtures, doorknobs.  Chesterfield is a sleepy town; when we picked up Drew it was easy to head to Florence or Charlotte and go out to dinner.  We didn’t get into a set routine.  Drew had to learn to go with the flow.  The world also revolved around his demands.  When life seemed to be getting easier is about the time we found out we were expecting Jac.

The beginning of my pregnancy was great.  I was running, eating semi healthy, I had a three year old to chase around.  Then came the twenty week find out what you're going to have.  I was on top of the world excited-I had a boy name and a girl name picked out.  Trey had to be in Federal Court so I went by myself-and I wasn't going to wait for him to be with me to find out the gender.  I was going to buy all new everything for the nursery-for Drew I had a hand me down crib as well as bedding.  Then my doctor came in and told me that Jac might have Trisomy 18.  I would need further testing.  We're not those people.  I would never terminate a pregnancy.  I left the doctors office devastated.  I could barely speak when I got to the courthouse to pick up Trey.  I didn't want to do anything after that day.  No more running, no more decorating the nursery.  Well, he's here and he's perfect!  

Balancing two….when I got home from the hospital it seemed easy to juggle.  Trey's parents were here to help out with Drew.  I still had his babysitter Rebecca come to the house and take him out and about.
However, I had a baby on Friday and Trey needed me at the office on Tuesday.  Yeah, he kinda sucks.    Then not even two weeks later a friend of Trey's murdered someone (self defense) and our world became even more rocked because Trey was with his new client day in day out for weeks.  The first week in June my backup at the office started but as you can see-yet again there was a baby born and no routine was started.

With both boys I tried the baby wise method.  Drew never napped those first ten weeks-I remember getting in the shower and when I would get out he'd be screaming.  When he started at the sitters she would talk about his naps-apparently she would put him on his tummy.  Newborns eat sleep poop cry, repeat.  Jac was easier to get into a sleeping pattern, but he spent a lot of time on the go with Drew. The second child definitely gets the short end of the stick- I have tons of photos of Drew.  Jac just had his first set of professional photos at eighteen months.  I don't think I have a birthday cake photo for either of Jac's birthday's.  Jac gets hurt more-but he's trying to keep up with someone three years older than he is!

With Drew I breast fed him for six weeks.  I did not enjoy the experience.  With Jac we went straight to bottles.  With Drew I was scared to use off brands-he was a Similac and Pampers kid.  Until he was about 1-then I'd started to use Walmart Brand formula and Luvs.  With Jac I was going to use the store brand formula--he developed an allergy to it so we were forced to buy the expensive kind!  He was a Luv's baby!  I didn't try to potty train Drew until he was 39 months--I didn't want to start before he turned three and then have him go back to diapers when I had Jac.  Jac's potty trained himself and he'll be three in May.  Drew ate baby food-Jac wanted what Drew was eating.  Drew started school in March right before his 4th birthday.  I don't think I'm going to send Jac to school until he's 4-and that's only if he gets one of the slots at the public school.

Drew will be 6 in April and Jac will be 3 in May.  I'm slowly getting a little me time back--that is if I get up at 5:30-6 am.  However, it's easy to get up early since they're getting older-before I would sleep until the last possible second.  Boys love their mommas!  








The final day of Snow.   Jac was already dressed-but when he saw what Drew was going to wear he had to change!


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